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Dating over 40 is not easy, and often it is difficult to know where to begin. This blog covers, what the first online dating steps are, what a tag line is, what is a meet and greet, what are the pros and cons of online dating, what you should do on the first date, online dating etiquette, and finally what an adult dating site is. There is alot here but we hope you find it informative and enjoyable reading.
- Decide what dating agency is best for you. For more details read them here.
- Create a new email account through hotmail or gmail.
- Be safe, there are people who will try to scam you (read our safety tips) - however, simply put do not give out any personal information too soon.
- Pick an online nickname.
- Write an enticing profile.
- Post recent photos.
- Write a list of questions/openers to start a conversation.
- Go online regularily to respond to correspondence, chat, etc.
- Chat or email eachother online for awhile.
- Arrange a meet & greet.
- Contact the person after regarding going forward or not.
- If going forward, a first date is in order.
What is a Tag Line?
On most dating sites, there is a tag line – it is one-line that introduces you. Other than your online dating name, and photo it is the first thing people will read. Sorting through search results is like being in a crowed sporting event. Make people smile with your opening line, build thier curiosity, it is your first impression so it needs to be outstanding. For more information read our article here.
What is a Meet and Greet?
A meet and greet is a CASUAL meeting between two people who have been corresponding online, and are interested in each other. I recommend meetings as friends without expectations i.e. wondering if “they are they the one”. Try meeting for lunch, coffee or dessert as these imply a time limit where both parties can leave within an hour or so without hurting anyone’s feelings. Meet in an agreed to place, and ensure you both take your own transportation (see our safety tips).
As you are meeting in a casual environment, dress casually as it keeps the expectations in the right arena. Be yourself and remember this is a casual meeting ~ you decide whether or not you want to pursue this any further. If the meet and greet was successful, when you are back home send a short email saying that you enjoyed meeting them. It is a nice way to let them know you are interested in pursuing them further. If you are not interested, then it behooves you to let them know as well. Simply say that it was a pleasure meeting them, however, you don’t think that there is enough common ground to continue a friendship.
What are the Pros and Cons of Online Dating?
Pros
Online dating allows individuals looking for a relationship, discreet encounters; gay personals; intimate dating websites; matchmaker; professional matchmakers; senior dating; single millionaires; single parent dating sites; single women or single men to meet in a safe, non threatening environment.
Believe me, as an online dater, you will be amazed at the number of people you meet, many you will count as friends and hopefully one partner (if that is what you are looking for). You will have greater choice in who you meet as many sites are international and the people from all walks of life. I have personally met people from Europe, numerous areas of the US and Canada. You have the ability to communicate with anyone you choose and remain anonymous until you decide to meet.
Most of us dislike rejection, well some of that goes away online – with the number of contacts you make, a few people not responding makes no never mind. It’s a plain fact that people feel safe behind their monitors – so the awkwardness of that first conversation goes away. If you join a matchmaking dating site, it is even less as they help you determine your compatibility and in many cases have guided communication channels.
You save a ton of time – with everything keeping you busy in your life – you choose when to go online and who you want to correspond with.You have the chance to get to know each other before having to meet. This builds a “history” and common ground prior to that initial meeting.
It is relatively inexpensive – unless you join far to many sites – women, please ensure you pay for a membership as well – online you are on equal footing.
For women it is paradise – there are more men than women so you really will be wooed and pursued. Guys, this is your chance to shine and show women how great you are.
Cons
Some people join sites (generally free ones) just to see who is out there, they really don’t have any intention of meeting. Rather they live vicariously online – it is a bit of a pain, but you can spot them fairly quickly.
It is very common that there are more men than women on most dating sites. Guys, do yourselves a favour and don’t use a “shot gun” approach on women – they really want to know why you are interested in them! Also, chances are they have friends on the same dating site – so you will want to be upfront and keep it honest.
There are those that are going to fib, or outright mislead you online. Women from foreign countries asking for money; people who fib about their age, weight, occupation, or marital status. It’s true they are out there, but there are many more people who are straight up – why, cause you just might meet. The old rule of thumb, “if it sounds too good to be true”, should be followed online as well.
There are those that become professional online daters. They are afraid that there is someone better just coming online. It’s sad, but these people do exist – if you do start dating, at the first fork in the road, they may end it and go back online. Truthfully, it is better you know that and move past them.
What should I do on the first date?
A first date is not the Meet & Greet (see above). A first date should be special and memorable for both of you. Do not go to the movies, please – there is no way to determine a romantic connection, do something that allows you talk to each other. For more information read our article here.
What is online dating etiquette?
The following should clear up some misconceptions about online dating. I know I had a few and a number of my readers have as well.
There are two very important rules one should always keep in mind:
- One is practice personal safety ~ this applies to guys as well as women!
- Be honest – your profile must reflect you.
- It is okay to:
- Respond to and chat with several people at one time.
- Make the first move and start the correspondence (either gender can do this).
- Not to respond to an initial contact. I know this may seem rude, but if you decide they are not right for you, not responding is perfectly acceptable. Frankly it works both ways – I’d prefer no response to “I’ve read your profile and am not interested. “
- Meet several people a week (if you have the time).
- Leave if the person has misrepresented themselves (if they lied about their age, weight, marital status, etc.) Upon meeting, I have thanked the person for coming out, but said, “unfortunately you were not truthful about yourself and because of that I’m not interested in getting to know you.”
- Send an email after the Meet & Greet or one or two dates to say that you are no longer interested, or are not interested in pursuing a relationship. You’ve met online and some of us are more eloquent in writing than in person.
You should not:
- Stop corresponding with someone without an explanation. If you have been chatting or emailing on a fairly regular basis and decide to “stop” – you should let the other person know that you are no longer interested.
- Disregard your commitment to a meeting. Just like the real world, if you say you are going to do something, then do it.
- Keep your profile active, or continue to email other potential partners. If you have agreed to date each other exclusively or have entered a physical relationship then you need to discuss whether you are exclusive or not. Assumptions regarding this lead to hurt feelings. (This rule does not apply if you’ve entered the relationship for physical intimacy only – but make sure the other person is aware of your intentions.)
- Sleep with someone on the first date!
- Break things off through email if you’ve been dating for awhile. You can email the person after a Meet & Greet and even the first date or two – after that though, it becomes rude.
What is an adult dating site?
Adult dating sites are less about dating and more geared towards hooking up for sex. These sites will allow you the freedom to chat about sex openly and bring people together who are looking for physical intimacy versus a relationship. I have had a number of readers that have met and married their love on adult dating sites, it is a matter of deciding what type of site is best for you and what your priorities are.
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