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So, you have a great nickname, a wonderful yet endearing opening line now you need to keep their attention and build their curiosity about you. The words you choose to describe yourself and what you are looking for matter! They are incredibly powerful and can convey so much about you as a person. Pay attention to the way they are strung, the many meanings they contain, be careful with the words that you choose, especially when describing your ideal mate, they have the potential to alienate people - to avoid this try being realistic.
I’ve found that often, either there is very little in the profile, or it reads something to the effect:
- “Hmmm don’t know what to say…but they are making me type 250 characters.”
- “Well, I’ll give this another try. Just looking for some fun on those lonely nights. Am a good looking normal guy just don’t want anything serious right now.”
- “ I think this whole online dating thing is really weird….
Guess what – no one likes to read how hard it is to write a profile or how difficult finding a mate can be. Tell people something about yourself. What makes you laugh, what are your passions, your strengths? There are a number of perspectives here – how about writing your profile as if you were a pet waiting to be adopted? Start thinking outside the box – I promise it will pay off.
I cannot stress enough, how important it is to be honest. Yes, certainly use adjectives to describe yourself, but do not lie. Height is height, age is age and weight is weight. If you hope to meet someone then do not mislead them. Your online rapport will not detract from the fact that your picture is ten years out of date and you are not who you described yourself as. If you don’t fall into one of the body type descriptions on the site, then take the time to explain: For example:
- “I am not athletic, nor slim ~ but in today’s standards I am certainly not average. I am slim yet curvy so think “Betty Boop” or “Marilyn Monroe”, and you’ll get the picture.
Tell people what is important to you; state what you are looking for. Be as clear as you can as this is where the weeding out process begins. Say what type of relationship you are looking for as well (dating, long term relationship, an activity partner). This allows other to know what you want and whether or not they meet your criteria. What characteristics are important to you physically, emotionally, and mentally? Be realistic, but ideally what would your partner be like? Here are a couple great examples:
“She would be my sweetheart, confidante and best friend. Sensuous, funny, positive, independent yet an incurable romantic. She loves her man and is satisfied that he would be her visible and invisible shield, totally supportive of her choices and having enough confidence in her to totally set her free.”
“He lives his life honesty and with integrity - knows what he wants and has managed to get it. You are attractive (to me), romantic, have old-fashioned charm; know how to treat a lady in public and a woman in private. In turn I’ll do the same.”
Take the time to check your spelling and grammar. Depending on whom you are trying to attract, be warned that they may judge you either consciously or unconsciously on your grammar as it is a pretty good IQ filter. Don’t string a long list of adjectives and call it a sentence. Make sure you capitalize the first word in a sentence and end it with punctuation. I suggest writing your profile in a word processing application first; run spell check, make corrections and copy the text into your profile. You can break a few of the rules to suit your style, just make sure that the person can tell the difference between your conversational tone and bad grammar.
Invite conversation by ending your profile with a question. For example:
"If you want to get to know me better, let me know what would be the perfect first date for you and why?"
Here is the full example of the profile I’ve been quoting from:
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User Name: LVIT2F8
Tag Line: I run with scissors ~ do you?
I am 5’8”, slender, and have green eyes. Since I don’t believe I fit into the “body types” listed on the site, you need to know that “I am not athletic, nor slim ~ but in today’s standards I am certainly not average. I am slender yet curvy so think “Betty Boop” or “Marilyn Monroe”, and you’ll get the picture. I’m also intelligent, confident, independent, positive, facetious, successful, naughty and nice – in essence totally happy in my own skin. I like pushing the limit and do so on a number of fronts – why…cause I can, and it is just fun.
I enjoy the finer things (travelling to Europe and all points after that) and yet the simple things in life (sitting on the garage roof and watching a storm blow in). My ideal partner likes to explore the world of wine, can discuss anything from world events, spirituality, and the best spot in world to see (to them). I’m looking for a guy that is confident in himself, and knows that life it to be enjoyed (it is not dull and mundane), and has a sense of humor.
He lives his life honesty and with integrity - knows what he wants and has managed to get it. You are attractive, romantic, have old-fashioned charm, know how to treat a lady in public and a woman in private. In turn I’ll do the same.
I’m not into playing games (head games that is); however I am certainly into being pursued…the chase is awesome and should not be mistaken as a ‘game’, but rather just simple adult play - the sandbox is awesome and the sun is warm… Hmmm you like public displays of affection because when I’m interested – I show it. Do I care what the world thinks…not so much…
Oh, and just as an aside, I’m looking for someone who understands that sensuality is part of who we are and eroticism is part of being; however, this same person, knows that the mind is the ultimate erogenous zone. Looking for that wow factor in a partner– you have to know how to play on a number of levels.
If you want to get to know me better, let me know what your favorite cookie is and why?
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